You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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