I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
