Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
