Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
