TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
