I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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