the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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