PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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