I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
