Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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