Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
