just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
