Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
