She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
