playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
