the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
my liver is dry heaving
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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