Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
