trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
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Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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