I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
