At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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