so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
