: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
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He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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