After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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