She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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