John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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