Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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