Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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