i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
