Soap is not a condiment
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
