We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
50% drunk capacity currently
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
