also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
