careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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