with your own penis?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
