Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
