lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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