I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize