im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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