You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
