the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
