forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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