dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
