bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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