a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
