I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize