So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
