You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
