btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
