I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
