didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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