I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
