I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
