My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
