I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
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