I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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