Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
