Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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