she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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