Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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