my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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