is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
