I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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