DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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