my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
