I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
dude. I can hear the air.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
