The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
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You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
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Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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